Penetrating Feminism?

As part of today’s kick-off to the F-word, we planted two large panels in the Union courtyard, asking folks what their definition of feminism is, and whether they consider themselves feminists. By noon, we already had some incredibly thoughtful and thought-provoking responses. A great start to the week!

Returning at the end of the day to bring the panels in for the night, my colleague and I spied two young men, presumably undergraduates, gazing at the comments. We were in the Union vestibule, so the men didn’t see us. They were laughing and pointing at the messages, and then one of them picked up a pen. I sensed trouble, but wanted to assume best intentions.

To someone’s post of “vagina = victory,” he wrote: “penetrating a →” with an arrow pointing directly to the “vagina.” I was seething. I couldn’t see straight I was so mad. Without thinking, I dashed outside, shouting “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

I approached him and began chastising him, adopting what could only be considered my “I’m going to lecture to you now” voice. Sheepishly, he immediately apologized and admitted his guilt. But that wasn’t enough for me.

“This is incredibly offensive and demeaning to women,” I yelled. He nodded, but I kept pushing. “Do you know why it’s so offensive?” His response: because it makes fun of feminism. “And what is feminism,” I pressed. He had a definition: equal rights for women. I invited him to write that on the board, but he refused, as he scratched out his initial comment.

He tried to justify his behavior: if it had been a board about some other important issue, he probably would have written something equally stupid and thoughtless. Oh great, an equal-opportunity bigot!

He and his friend walked away. I’d like to think they were visibly shaken. I know I am still shaking. I walked away still angry, but also ambivalent.

I felt guilty for yelling at him, for being a “shrill” feminist incapable of taking a “joke” (what kind of joke is it when a woman is turned into an object and violently acted upon?). But at the same time, I felt proud and strong. I’m sick of remaining quiet. Of not saying something when I hear something offensive, something degrading, something that serves to silence me or other women. I’d like to think I turned this into a teaching moment for all of us. Maybe next time he’ll think before he writes something like that. Maybe next time he won’t write it at all. Maybe next time he’ll think about the consequences of his actions. Maybe next time he won’t objectify and degrade women.

A great start to the week, indeed…

(The panels will be out every day this week. Please add to our conversation by sharing your thoughts on feminism.)